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Even if a guy has a great personalitya woman looking for a date still hopes he's at least a little cute, a new study suggests. Researchers asked young women ages 15 to 29 to choose potential dates from a series of photographs and descriptions, while the women's mothers ages 37 to 61 were asked to select possible boyfriends for their daughters using the same information.
Before you roll your eyes and sigh because I sound just like that stereotypical looks-are-the-only-thing-that-matter kind of guy, hear me out. Attraction is physical, emotional, relational, intellectual, and maybe even spiritual for some.
The myth of wealthy men and beautiful women
Sure, a man wants to be with someone he finds physically attractive, but I think we all do. The problem comes when we feel that someone values our looks more than our personality or intellect or any other more substantial characteristic.
Now I will concede that the first level of attraction that most guys recognize is physical beauty. And this makes sense.
Men's looks matter more than women admit, study shows
Not only are men typically more visually stimulatedbut this is also the normal order of things. When I meet someone new, they make a visual impression this includes what they wear, how they carry themselves, their facial expressions before I get the chance to talk to them at length, let alone form a friendship with them. From struggles with pornography to the mistaken idea that men constantly need sex, I know the emphasis on the physical is a ificant struggle for men. I know women also see the over-emphasis on physicality and it can be discouraging in the dating arena.
Personally, I think that women generally have a greater ability to verbalize what attracts them on a deeper level. So when guys then fail to share what attracts them on a deeper level, it's women who suffer for it. OK, now on to the good news. When it comes to what a man is really looking for in a woman he dates, let me tell you that not all men are shallow. Sure, they are looking for a woman who is attractive—and I know there are shallow people out there, of both sexes — but I promise, there is a lot more to it than looking hot or not.
How much is being attractive worth?
I asked six men to name the qualities they found more attractive about a woman than how she looks. How she holds herself, how she behaves around others, does she smile when she greets you, how she expresses emotion. I think James is spot-on. One of the most important things in a relationship is not if you are both great people, but if you are both great for each other, and personality plays a large role in this meshing process. The key here is to be yourself. Guys want to see the real woman—who she is, what she likes, what she is passionate about, her dreams, hopes, fears, all of it—because that is the woman they may enter a serious relationship with.
So let your personality shine—we want to know who you really are.
Gentlemen speak: 6 things guys care about more than looks
The art of good conversation is dying, and friendship is key to any relationship. In fact, a good friend of mine was sharing with me last month how she knew she wanted to marry her husband.
It was as simple as that. And this holds true for guys, too. The whole time I kept thinking how lucky my friend is to have found a woman as awesome as this.
All guys, whether single, dating, or married, need their alone time. We need time to relax, recharge, process, engage in our hobbies, and invest in our male friendships. Thankfully she is so flexible.
She'll use it as a chance to catch up with her friends instead. Not only does it take a huge weight off my shoulders, but it makes me want to make it up to her and spend every non-busy moment I have with her!
5 things guys find attractive about women other than their appearance
Our physical features will eventually fade, but there are some types of beauty that never will. How a woman treats others is certainly one of them, David agrees. And remember that for guys, genuine attraction is definitely more than skin-deep.
Photo Credit: Corynne Olivia Photography. Choosing the next movie to watch together is about to get so much easier. You might be surprised by what's on his dream girl checklist. Think again. Let's sift through the confusion and figure out what his true intentions are.
Home Relationships. Independence All guys, whether single, dating, or married, need their alone time. By Justin Petrisek. By Isaac Huss.